Regret is the feeling you get when you realize you have lived and you want to live more.
In August of 2011 I moved to California to grow the Rawxies brand. In all honestly, I thought I’d never look back. I wrote a business plan, I packed my bags and I said see you later to Kansas City!
Northern California is one of the most beautiful places in the country. If I close my eyes for just long enough, I can actually feel The Bay air… I get chills every single time. I think back to driving over the beautiful golden gate bridge, to hanging with the guy who made my palms sweat, and to the kitchen where I rolled over 50,000 cookies in a 3 month span with a single rolling pin and cookie cutter (screw loose crazy, I know). I think about so much and I think about it often. It’s an experience in my life where the feeling has yet to leave me… The right song, the right smell and I’m right back to where it all started.
I tell my story often, but I think about it even more. While I originally moved to California to live out a dream, I realized overtime that my dream would be better built in Kansas City. What I don’t tell people is how much I miss California, and that I haven’t been back, because I’m scared to death of what I may feel. I’m honestly afraid I’ll end up at a Tiki bar in San Francisco crying my eyes out over the amazing memories I have from the year I closed my eyes and said ‘GO.’
But then I think about the person I was then and the person I am now. I think about the fight I have fought, and I think about other businesses that have started and failed since launching Rawxies. I think about the team I have built, the relationships I have gained and the lives I have impacted. I think about the things I thought I’d never be doing, the opportunities I’d never be exploring and the future I’d never be contemplating. I think about the life I have created and the life I can continue to create… by creating.
And it makes me smile.
I am who I am. I miss what I miss. I dream what I dream. I fear what I fear. I live for what I live for. I fight for what I believe should be fought for.
I write this post with the inspiration of a best friend who passed away 4 years ago around this time. At the end of every year and the beginning of a new, I think back to receiving the worst phone call of my life, to collapsing on my bedroom floor and to crying for days/months on end. I can’t help but take myself to that extremely painful place, because it’s the exact moment in which I truly experienced life leaving in an instant. Nick is my constant reminder to take advantage of the greatest gift we are given – Life. And his passing continually inspires me to live every moment in hopes that one day, I can regret ever leaving that moment.
I’ve come to realize that regret may be the most solid confirmation that we are doing something right – not wrong! Let’s embrace the opening quote on this page to the fullest.
I’ve declared 2016 as going to be the best damn year of my life. And I challenge each and every one of you, to make it the best damn year of your life too. Let’s create experiences that create stories, let’s create stories that create emotion, and let’s create emotion that makes us feel… makes us feel like we’ve never felt before.
Here’s to 2016… A year that we will one day look back on and regret ever leaving.